Beckett Bears

I am SO excited to announce our Charity!!

BECKETT BEARS

Our Blog and Story is posted here! 

Jed and I have been talking for months now on what exactly we want to do in honor of our son.  I have to say that we have had a MILLION ideas BUT it came to me a few months ago that the ONE thing that has meant the most to me was my Beckett Bear (as we call it).  I would love to be able to provide other families what our hospital so kindly gave us.  Not only did I sleep and hold this bear for comfort night after night since my son died BUT my kid's LOVE to hold him and give their Beckett Bear HUGS when they can't actually hug their brother.  

So we will be donating BEARS in honor of our sweet BECKETT on April 7, 2012 (his 2nd birthday!).  Our goal is to reach FIFTY (50) Bears by April 7, 2012.

I would love to have any type of support...there are FOUR things that I need YOUR help doing:

1.  Donate BEARS - please send them to our P.O. Box - mentioned on our blog here.

2.  Donate Money by sending it our P.O. Box as well and our children will GLADLY purchase bears to donate to our hospital.

3.  Donate Money through PayPal and again our children will be able to help purchase Bears to donate.

4.  Attend our TAGGING party (date to be determined) in March to get the Bears ready for donation. 

We are SO very excited to get this going and want to express our THANKS!!!

10 Years

I am in SHOCK that it has been 10 years...longer if you count our SHORT courtship.  10 Years ago today I married my best friend.  I don't think I have ever wrote out our dating story so that's what I am going do now...feel free to skip :)  Believe me...it's nothing interesting...mostly about a girl, a guy, a motorcycle and a gas station :)

We met 10 years ago, July 2001...I had been out of high school for about 2 months.  Finally on my own...well, living with my Grandparents BUT away from my parents, who at that time needed some space from me as well!  Jed was living with some friends in Logan, working as a roofer but highlighting as a motorcycle racer at nights.  We had some friends in common and we both ended up being at the same gas station one evening, that is where all of his friends met up to go riding.  There was this one guy, we'll call him ED, who had been bothering me and wanted to date.  Seriously, he would show up at my house, follow me around town...he was a really nice guy but I was NOT interested.  That night in July everyone was pairing up to go riding and knowing that I didn't want to get stuck on Ed's bike, my friend Ashley hopped on his bike and I was STUCK WITH JED...who I didn't like.  He acted like a jerk when I first met him and Jed later told me that he thought I was a snotty ditz.  Obviously the ride went well :)  We ended up back at my friends house and watched a movie until early morning, he drove me home and then begged (I still tease him about this) for my number...I wouldn't give it! Ha.  I made him give me HIS number and told him that I would call him, completely NOT planning on it!  A few weeks after that I was moving out of my Grandparents home into an apartment and I needed help moving...so I called.  Yes, yes I am a user!  So he glady came and helped me move and really from that moment on we spent EVERY day together.  I told him that I did NOT want to date...he said 'Fine.'  But he still kept showing up everyday to hang out.  He honestly became one of my best friends.

After 6 weeks of being "just friends" he told me that he wanted to take me out on a date...reluctantly I said yes but ended up not showing up (I was a total snot!) and he acted all mad and even came to my apartment to pick up his "sweatshirt," I think he just wanted to talk to me.  I did feel terrible.  I promised him that I would meet him for dinner the next night...and I did...and I guess the rest is history!  We were engaged October 19 and married December 29.  I guess when I fall in love...I fall fast!

The day I met him my life changed.  For the better.  I was headed down a bad path...my friends weren't the best influence and Jed was a goody-goody.  I honestly don't know where I would be now if I hadn't met him...and of course he is a LOT better off with me :) 

We have been through it all...literally.  I definitely know that we wouldn't have made it through these years...especially this last year...without each other.  He is my best friend.  I may not always act like it...and mostly it is just an act in front of people...but I LOVE HIM!  More than anything.  I can't wait for the day when it will be just the TWO of us (our children are grown) and we can explore the world and do things that we didn't get to do before having children!

 

HAPPY TEN YEARS JEDDIE!!

6 Months Old

Really!?

(that's all I'm going to say!)

Nicknames:

Tiggers

Tigs

Chubba Whubba

Love Monkey

Loves

Things he is doing:

Sitting up on his own for a little while

Rolling all over

Sleeping through the night

Enjoys being held

Loves jumping in his Jumperoo

Still hasn't slept in his crib

2 bottom teeth

Trying a few foods - like a teeny drop of each item (Bread, french try, pickles, mustard (yes, that's mean))

LOVES to giggle and be held 

Dear Tigs,

I can't believe you have been here 6 months already.  My whole world has changed since you have been born.  You bring me SO much joy and happiness.  I have never been SO excited to hold a baby, feed a baby or even change a diaper!  You mean everything to me.  You have come at the right time...our family so much needed something or someone to bring some joy to our life.  You have done this!  As much as I wish you knew your big brother...I know that he watches over you and is so happy that you have brought much healing to your family, especially your sister Tay.  I think she needed you as much as I did.  I love you my monkey!  Keep growing...but not too fast (wink, wink!)

Mommy

Enjoying our Presents

Bray spent time painting...Tay experimented with her new makeup (so lovely)...Addie sat in her new car seat (she's so excited to be in a big-girl seat now)...and Zee playing the Wii or DS...BUT Beck's gift seems to have been the BEST!

Just Dance Kid's

We have been laughing and dancing all day.  The kid's have really been enjoying this game.  Even Jed danced.  I still have yet to do it but...I will. 

Christmas Day

Warning!!!  Picture overload...you know me, I take pictures every chance I get!

I love the excitement of Christmas morning - the kids waking up nice and early...jump on our bed - me - making Jed get up with them and I complain how I still need more sleep.  This year...was different.  Jed had to work thru the night...so I got everything ready - with a needy, teething baby who wanted to nurse non-stop (not sure why I waited until Eve to wrap most of the gifts).  I texted Jed all upset that everything was left up to me - his Sergent was kind enough to allow him to come home for a little bit but he only lasted long enough for Tiggers to get happy AND for me to calm down :) before he had to leave on another call (why can't families get along - maybe stop drinking so much - on Christmas Eve?).  But the gifts got wrapped...placed under the tree...cookies were eaten, milk was drunk...stocking were stuffed...and I crawled into bed at 1am - to await the arrival of 4 little kids jumping me out of bed.  It didn't happen.  About 6am Zee crawled into bed with me and just watched TV, weird.  The girls slept in until I woke them up at 6:30am to start getting ready for church.  We had already talked with the kids that Christmas would have to wait until after church because church was at 9am...and there was no way we could do presents AND get ready before 8:45am.  So we let them open their stockings and we took pictures by the tree with presents.  Church was short...only an hour (compared to the normal 3) but the whole hour they kept asking how much longer, they were just SO excited.  After sacrament we found out that we were pretty much the only family that had NOT opened gifts yet, I kind of felt bad that we made our kids wait.

And they had to wait even longer.  We went down to Beck's grave because last year we didn't get out to his grave until 9pm and I felt terrible.  So we left right after church.  It was a beautiful day - sun shining and perfectly fallen snow at the cemetery from days earlier but still hadn't been walked on yet.  As we drove up to his site, I noticed that there was something new on his tree...excited, I got out and was going to walk thru the 12+ inches of snow in my church dress to see what NEW thing was hanging on MY baby's tree.  I then noticed that there was actually TWO things...First of all, we refer to the other grave sites as their names (i.e. "Shirley Beal" lays to the right of Beck) anyways, Shirley's family had left a BEAUTIFUL angel ornament on Beck's tree with a wonderful card that of course made me cry (and Jed...and my Dad).  We always knew Shirley's family visited because they would some times put some of Shirley's flowers on Beck's grave...or other decorations...and if it ever snowed and they have gotten to the grave before us they ALWAYS shoveled a path from the road to Shirley AND Beck's grave (so nice!).  I wish that we have met these wonder people because they have showed so much love for a little baby boy that they have never met...and have helped bring some joy to our family.  Now we always do make sure that Shirley's plants and decorations are water and look lovely every time we are there BUT for them to leave this ornament AND letter is simply amazing.  The second letter was from 2 women that left a ornament with a note on Beck's tree LAST Christmas and we re-hung the ornament this year...they left a letter for us to read that was so beautiful and honestly couldn't come at a better time.  I still struggle with guilt enjoying holidays or family time because Beck isn't here with us...we decorate his tree so that people can see what a SPECIAL baby Beck was, and how much he STILL means to our family...these 2 letters gave me acknowledgment of that, people KNEW.  They know that this little baby is a BIG piece of our world.  THAT was my best Christmas present this year.  We sung Beck 'We Wish you a Merry Christmas' and headed back to our warm cars to go home...my mom ended up falling out of her car into the deep snow, oops!!  

Finally, we made it home to start our Christmas present extravaganza.  I was actually very disappointed in my kids this year...Jed and I decided to scale back this year because we always go all out, go broke, to get my kids everything that they want.  Believe me...it's getting expensive.  So we decided to REALLY scale down - be a bit more reasonable with presents.  My children STILL acted like spoiled brats!!  I figured that they would be very happy with the things they got BUT all they wanted was MORE.  So disappointed that my children really don't understand what Christmas is all about...the don't get that it is better to GIVE than to RECEIVE.  They don't truly understand the meaning of Christmas...Christs birth.  I feel like I have failed a bit in teaching my children the true meaning of this Holiday season.  Next year... we are doing these even MORE different.  At the end of the night, they had a great Christmas and each of them eventually told Jed and I how happy they were with what they got and started to act much better...I just wish they understood that some kids...go without.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

May this New Year bring you HAPPINESS and HEALING and LOVE.